How to de-stress Normal and Extreme Methods
4:00:00 AM
I am always under stress.
Stress is a part of life to me, emotional stress, mental stress, physical stress, whatever. I constantly am stressed, and I try to find ways to de-stess. So I turned to the internet, there, I found a several solutions to this problem.
Internet Suggested Solutions
- Meditate — I wonder when I'll have the time to meditate if I don't wake up at 5 a.m in the morning, I also am not a think-nothing type of person, I am a think-of-everything-and-cry type of person.
- Breathe Deeply — I don't get anything from this other than looking like a serial killer, I really just breathe deeply while your eyes are wide open and not look like a crazy serial killer.
- Be Present — Um, I am very well present, I am panicking because I currently have hundreds of tasks that I need to complete, I am panicking because I see lots of dirt everywhere and I need to clean it all.
- Cleaning — Cleaning is one of the most stressful things sometimes, especially when you have to clean after other people while handling other things as well, and I'm not paid, some maids are so whiny and complain so much, I have to do the same work without pay.
- Take a Break — Experts often say that taking breaks help with stress a lot, I say if you are stressed then your probably not gonna have time to take a break.
- Listen to Music — They say to listen to soothing music, but soothing soft music slows down my productivity and makes it harder for me to finish my stressful tasks, I need some good upbeat fast music to speed up my productivity.
- Exercise — I hate exercising plus I don't have time, also I don't like being self conscious about how I look when I run and also how I smell, It is very stressful.
- Massage — this can help a bit, but getting touched by other people can be horrifying.
Some of these things really help with stress, but so so slowly and I ain't got time for that. I need to be already de-stressed yesterday or last year or never actually ever feel stress in my life. So I made myself think up my own practically instant solutions.
Extreme Solutions to Stress
- Comit a crime and go into prison [Disclaimer] Can cause new sources of stress (e.g. Stabbings, beatings, etc.)
- Take drugs and hallucinate [Disclaimer]Can cause you to go to jail or even die. Also can reduce your productivity and also ruin your health. I do not condone drug abuse, it's too harmful rather than helpful.
- Fall into a coma and sleep all the pain away [Disclaimer] Can cause more stresses on money (e.g. Hospital bills, phone bills, etc)
- Take a Vow of silence then join some church or something — and never say anything about your stressful past.
- Disappear — if you can't deal with it, run away, don't tell anyone just run, run until no one can find you.
- Go Crazy — You'll be put in a mental asylum, free food and medical care, but you'll be crazy and you won't care, or you'll be suffering in there because you know that the lizards are taking over the world
- Live in the woods — just hunt for food and be self sufficient, but there are also other causes of stress (e.g. Bears, spiders, bugs, diseases, winter, etc.)
Or you can die in a bus. - Burn Everything Down to the Ground — Watch Everything go up in smoke.
- Get "amnesia" — what? I don't remember.
These are very extreme ways to get rid of stress, but they don't really particularly look appealing, but they should work... Um I think so at least. The results will speak for themselves, they'll ruin your life, but you won't be stressed anymore.
Of course you can still go for the normal methods (which I prefer), they will just take a long time.
This has not been the first or last time that I'll be stressed, but somehow I still stayed sane, maybe I should write self improvement books on handling stress. It might help my stress if I help others.
But I think I'll go crazy before that.
2 comments
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