Wisdom, something I put up on a pedestal. Something I've felt is one of the most sacred things in the world.

It liberates us from being animals, mindless, chaotic, horny animals. It tells us how to act in order to bring favourable conditions, as well as avoid unfavourable conditions. Wisdom also shows us all the different points of view, it teaches us to look at things from every possible angle, to approach everything knowing that everything isn't black and white. Everything manifests in different shades of grey.

I take this to heart as one of my core values. To be able to see things through wise eyes, to actively eliminate subjectivity from my views.

One of the most prominent characteristics of my thinking is that it is always uncertain, it might be because I am an inquisitive mind. I question everything, I question others' opinions, as well as my own. I question morals, political issues, philosophical issues, everything. Nothing escapes this, nothing is so 100%. Facts are exceptions. But other than that, I see that there is no definite answer.

But then due to this thinking, I begin questioning good and bad, what is good? What is bad?

There is no answer.

I personally believe that good and bad is very subjective. It all comes from how a person was taught to think. For example, in a society where people think that stoning someone to death because of, let's say, premarital sex. Most people wouldn't feel any problems with this. But most of us in this age,at least in the western world, would think that this is preposterous. No one deserves this kind of treatment, and over SEX, just sex. We see this judgement bad, harsh and draconian. But they see it as normal, heck, some of them even think it's good. They lived in a time where this was acceptable, they were taught that it was acceptable, so they now think it is acceptable. This is an example of subjective morality.

There are probably people who immediately thought ‘That is utterly unacceptable.’ when they read about the stoning. This is thinking I avoid, I actively avoid judging immediately. I  instead try hard to understand the person's view more than anything. Because as Ellen Langer says, ‘Behavior makes sense from the actors’ perspective, or else they wouldn’t do it.’, no one does anything just because they can. They meant to do something, I look for what they meant to do. That way I can understand and possibly help them to carry out what they wanted to do.

This is how I look at the world, just a constant need to understand everything around me. But why do I do this?

I want to be fair. I want to be just.

But most of the time, I still come off as a bit of a cynical asswipe. I come across as a smartass of sorts. But people who judge me this way just do so because that is just what they see on the surface, they do not look deeper into my inner working to see how much I sincerely feel that there is a possibility of me helping the world in one way or another.

One big possibly fatal flaw, my hubris, is that all I want to do is help. I'm excessively good-natured, I forego my needs to satisfy others, I let my image be besmirched just so I can help another to rise up.

Another really big one is that even if I can see all the greys, but I forget colour.

I look at the world and see just muted, grey. Colour is everyone's own subjectivity, our own emotions. It makes life worth living. It makes living feel more than just existence. I have to learn to let this colour into my vision, otherwise, I am just an empty soul. Every day I try hard to let it in, and every day just a little prickle of colour appears and makes my day so much better.

I hope this may shed at least a small amount of sunlight onto your hearts.

But on another note, if you want somewhat of a good laugh, why not read my post on the awkwardness of Kissing?

I am always under stress.

Stress is a part of life to me, emotional stress, mental stress, physical stress, whatever. I constantly am stressed, and I try to find ways to de-stess. So I turned to the internet, there, I found a several solutions to this problem.

Some of these things really help with stress, but so so slowly and I ain't got time for that. I need to be already de-stressed yesterday or last year or never actually ever feel stress in my life. So I made myself think up my own practically instant solutions.

These are very extreme ways to get rid of stress, but they don't really particularly look appealing, but they should work... Um I think so at least. The results will speak for themselves, they'll ruin your life, but you won't be stressed anymore.

Of course you can still go for the normal methods (which I prefer), they will just take a long time.

This has not been the first or last time that I'll be stressed, but somehow I still stayed sane, maybe I should write self improvement books on handling stress. It might help my stress if I help others.

But I think I'll go crazy before that.